WARNING! Ramblings of an emotional man!

I woke up this morning feeling bereft. Surprisingly so. Those who know me know that I’m first and foremost a Manchester United fan (feel free to stop reading at this point). My family is from Barbados but I was born and raised in England. I am an England football fan but the emotion I’ve felt during this tournament has really shocked me.

I watch every England game from boring qualifiers to the heights of tournament football. Like many others my investment in the team does tend to fluctuate depending on the seriousness of the match being played at the time. Like I said I’m probably club before country when it comes to supporting a team

However over the past three years I feel lucky that we’ve been able to enjoy some of the moments both the Men and Women of England have provided us in tournament football. Particularly Russia in 2018 and obviously the last month or so on home soil.

In extremely divisive times the team have brought the nation together if not for a month, at least for roughly six hundred and ninety minutes of match play. Seeing people who I know normally have zero interest in football get caught up in the drama has been brilliant.

The smiles and optimism I’ve seen from the kids we train shows what an impact something like this can have on people and I’ve loved every minute of it. Bosses giving their staff time off work, schools giving their kids delayed school starts to allow them to watch these moments shows to what degree people have been captivated by the progress of the team.

Besides the inevitable disappointment that follows losing such a major game, I think the biggest cause of my deflation today isn’t so much the football side of things. Yes I have feelings of ‘what if’, that weird regret you feel as a fan after a big loss despite the fact that you had absolutely no impact on what happened.

What if Rashford had opened his foot a couple of degrees more when striking his penalty? What if that goes in and Sancho’s penalty becomes slightly easier?

What if Southgate had been more proactive with his shape change and substitutions when we were losing control on the game?

These things bother me and will have kept those men up all night last night. But I think my biggest negative feeling after last night’s events is less about the football and more about the reaction I expected there to be after defeat.

Watching Rashford, Sancho and Saka miss made me feel a little bit sick because I knew what was coming. I woke up this morning almost searching for the news story, and it was there. It was down the list, but it was there. Racist online abuse, so on and so forth. Sad that we expect it. But we do. I’m not going to dwell on this point because I don’t think this is the medium for that conversation so I’ll move on to the next thing I expected to see. The Southgate bashing.

I was sat with friends when the boys started to lose their grip on the game. At the time, everyone in the room agreed we needed to revert back to a four at the back and perhaps get some more pace on in forward areas. We thought this might force Italy a bit deeper and relieve some of the pressure, or at least offer us a more dangerous outlet when we regained possession than what we currently had on the pitch. I feel as though that may have been the plan before the game even kicked off. With every passing minute before the equaliser the frustration grew. And when it came, the decision to change felt reactive and like we’d missed an opportunity.

HOWEVER! There are two sides to every situation. Southgate has since made the point that during that period Pickford hadn’t had too much to do. In the first half Italy were limited to half chances and the pressure hadn’t been too severe. Even in hindsight after the game, It was 1-1 against a very good side. We conceded a goal from a set piece, and even then there was an element of bad fortune with where the ball dropped after a good save from Pickford.

We lost to the most threatening side in the tournament on penalties and I’ve already seen Southgate slaughtered on social media. “Muppet.” “Clueless”. As if the performances in the World Cup and this tournament count for nothing.

Do I think he could have done things differently in the final? Of course. Would I myself have been able to navigate an England team through to the final of the European Championships, having only conceded two goals (both from set pieces)? NO! So I think I’ll cut the guy some slack.

This is a likable, maybe even loveable England side and I would probably say it’s the first of my lifetime. Southgate, the backroom staff and the players have to take huge credit for that.

They were penalties away from doing something that hasn’t been done in TWO of my lifetimes!

In three years they’ve brought us the Columbia shoot-out win.

The Trippier free-kick against Croatia.

Slabhead’s thumping header against Ukraine.

Luke Shaw’s left foot…..

LUKE SHAW’S LEFT FOOT!

These moments and many more have moved me to scream at the tele with passion and embrace my best friends in ecstasy.

They’ve allowed us all to have something positive to talk about during what’s been a pretty crappy time.

Despite the negativity we’re now all feeling. Don’t forget how good so much of it felt.

And most importantly don’t forget, there’s always 2022!