Confidence Is Earned, Not Given

Parents often tell me they want their child to be more confident. The interesting thing is, confidence isn't simply believing you can do something. Real confidence is having the resilience to keep trying when things don't go your way.

Take Bukayo Saka. Missing a penalty in a European Championship final could have defined his career. Instead, he continued putting himself in those situations and later stepped up to score for England again. That's confidence. Not because he never failed, but because he was willing to try again.

As coaches, simply telling children "well done" isn't enough. Confidence isn't built through empty praise. It's built by creating opportunities to struggle, helping children work through disappointment and then reminding them how far they've come.

I see this regularly with young players who refuse to use their weaker foot because it's "rubbish". Even in a supportive football coaching environment, they're worried about getting it wrong. Over time they realise mistakes are accepted, improvement comes from actually practicing the thing they find difficult, and eventually they're brave enough to use that weaker foot in a match.

Parents and coaches can sometimes slow this process down without meaning to. We answer for children, protect them from failure or praise the outcome more than the effort. Yet it's often the uncomfortable moments that teach the biggest lessons.

Confidence isn't something adults can hand to children. It's something they build for themselves through repeated experiences of failing, improving and eventually succeeding. Our role is simply to create the environment where that journey feels possible.

Antonio - Head Coach